


NOTHING LASTS FOREVER

by strangethetimes



Category: IT (2019), IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Grief/Mourning, Love Confessions, M/M, One Shot, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Short One Shot, Suicide, i think it counts?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-24 07:09:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20701961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strangethetimes/pseuds/strangethetimes
Summary: in which the rest of the Losers can’t drag Richie out of Neibolt after Eddie’s death.inspired by this post — https://mikeyhanlon.tumblr.com/post/187792814211/who-is-gonna-be-the-motherfucker-that-takes-one





	NOTHING LASTS FOREVER

**Author's Note:**

> y’all……...this is gonna be real fuckin’ sad. I'd suggest listening to Wallfisch’s “Nothing Lasts Forever” during this but, honestly, it’d just make it more depressing.

If Eddie were alive right now, he’d make Richie leave. _ Don’t die because of me, _ he’d say. But, that’s exactly what he’s done, what both of them have done. Eddie is gone, no matter how many times Richie says he can still be helped. There once, scared but fighting with every part of himself, and now gone. The dried blood — _ his _ blood — on Richie’s shirt feels stiff and the cavern is starting to deteriorate around them. He’ll be gone soon too if he stays. They’re imploring him. They’re _ pleading _with him, saying anything they can to get him to go. It’s no use. Ben and Mike try to drag him away to no avail. Walls cracking and ground shaking, the idea dawns upon them all and they hate themselves for it. Beverly is the first to say it.

“We have to go.” She says, tears cutting through the dirt and blood on her cheeks. Ben and Mike keep trying to pull Richie away, it’s not working. He won’t let go. He _ can’t _let go. They pull and yank and tug, cursing under their breath, but he won't let go. Adrenaline pumps in his veins, he has enough strength to fight them for hours. There's no avoiding it.

“We’re truh-trying, Bev.” Bill pants, he grabs onto him too and a furious, tormented scream tears through Richie's throat. The look in Beverly’s eyes when Bill turns back to her says everything it needs to. They have to go. They have to go, with or without him. Bill shakes his head, not giving up yet, and yanks on him again while he cradles Eddie’s body against his own. “R-Richie.” He begs. He doesn’t want to lose him too. Not like they lost Stan. Not like they lost Eddie. He doesn’t want another Loser to die.

“I’m not leaving him.” Richie cries, a mess of tears and anguish. His lungs heave and his chest burns. He knows what they’re considering. He wants them to live.

“Rich—” Mike starts, his and Ben’s grip loosens. They know what he really means.

“GO!” He screams at them. He’s made his choice. _ I’m not leaving him. _ They listen, looking back only once before disappearing for good. _ I’m not leaving him. _ Richie thinks he told them he loves them, he doesn't remember. _ I’m not leaving him. _ It’s a big blur of sights and sounds, his friends parting ways once more and racing to escape. They’ll never see him again. God knows what will happen. Now, he’s alone. Grief calls to him and relief pokes at him and he’s _ alone. _ No, not alone. His hands tremble, trying to hold Eddie’s head to his shoulder, and a sob rips through him. Nausea wraps around his throat and pulls, plummeting down into his stomach and splashing up like waves. _ Not dead, not dead. Just gone. _ He’s only gone. Maybe it’s a joke, a cruel and sick and disgusting joke that they can laugh about when Eddie opens up his eyes and teases him for crying when he was…_not dying, not dying. Just leaving. _

“Not dead.” Richie whispers, his hands are hosting earthquakes of immeasurable magnitude. The ground rumbles and roars, he remembers the choice he’s making. He remembers the things he’s experienced that dig their teeth into his skin at night, even when he forgot. This would just be another one, unless he forgot again. The thought sends a shudder through him. He wouldn't want to forget about Eddie again; that empty, hollow hole in his chest flooded when he laid eyes on him at the Jade of the Orient. He felt something for the first time in almost thirty years. He felt _alive_.Anger throbs in his chest, he should have left the inn with Eddie when he had the chance — like they talked about. Blood oath be damned, at least they would be alive and together. Rocks start to hit against the ground and send shards flying, a few times it’s close enough to graze against Richie’s skin and slice it open. What does he care? He’s sure he’d rather die now.

He hugs Eddie again, tighter than he’s ever hugged anybody, and leans him against the rocks he was propped up against before. Richie’s heart breaks when he looks at him. It shatters. Darkness caresses his bandaged cheek, threatening to swallow him whole. Blood. So much blood coating his skin and clothes. This isn’t Eddie. Not _his _Eddie; the boy who called him names when he made shitty jokes and never put up with any of his crap, the boy with brown doe-eyes and waves of dark hair he'd get frustrated about whenever Richie would mess them up, the boy that he’d do anything for — even die. He remembers Neibolt when they were kids. Eddie’s arm was broken, IT was looming nearer, and they were sure they were going to be killed. Richie had grabbed him, made him look at him, and screamed his name. He was going to make damn well sure neither of them died looking at that fucking clown. He was going to die looking at _him, _the boy he loved. The boy who grew up, worlds away from him, and became the man that he still loves. He couldn’t even try to pretend. He saw him standing in front of the fish tank and fell in love all over again, or maybe he just remembered that he never stopped. He doesn’t know why he was so scared before. Loving Eddie isn't scary now that he's lost him.

“I love you.” Richie’s voice rasps, the words are freeing and painful all at once. He leans against the rocks and grabs Eddie’s hand. It’s almost cold and stiff. He wants to throw up. _ Not dead, not dead. Just gone. _ Rocks keep tumbling down, bigger and bigger than before. “I was too scared to say it. I don’t know why. It was _ you_, I was never afraid of you.” More rocks. Something huge and deafening falls in the ground above. Somewhere in his bones, Richie knows it’s Neibolt — that goddamn fucking house has collapsed at last. He realizes it won’t be long. He doesn’t have long. Richie presses his lips to Eddie’s cheek and more tears runs down his own.

“You made me feel brave. Not as brave as you, but more than I ever could've managed on my own.” He buries his head into Eddie’s shoulder, trying to remember the way he smelled without gray water and blood soaked through his clothes. He thinks, for a moment, of honey and hand sanitizer. He thinks he might remember something else too, laying in the grass and being intoxicated by those scents. Feeling safe. Feeling at home. Eddie _was_ his home. The whole world quakes as if to tell him he’s right.

“I’ve always loved you. Since we were kids.”

A chunk from one of the walls smashes into the ground barely a foot away. He isn’t afraid.

“It was you. _ Always _you.”

The words tumble out like the rubble. They can't be stopped.

“I’m sorry I never said it.”

The space is getting smaller, trapped amongst pieces of rock while more rain down.

“I should have. Maybe then…”

He knows it’s coming. He still isn’t afraid. There are worse ways to die.

“I love you, Eds.”

Then, the earth consumes them both. Richie doesn’t feel it, he doesn’t even realize he’s dying. Not as pieces of debris shatter his bones and not as blood pools in his lungs, he doesn’t feel a thing. He just looks at Eddie, memorizing the details in his face until there’s nothing but darkness and smothering cold. Richie dies looking at the man he loves and swears he’ll find him again in their next life — a life that they can have together.


End file.
